Thursday, December 17, 2009

Went under the Knife

I know I have told you about Ashes Eyes. She had an intermittent outward wondering eye. I have been seeing the Dr. about this for a year. We have tried patching the eyes but that didn't really help. So with a lot of thought, Matt and I decided to have Ash get the surgery. I was really scared to have my little girl go under general anesthesia and have this. But I felt it was the best thing to do and that the sooner the better for long term results.

At 5:00 in the morning I woke my sleeping princess and took her to Vanderbilt Primary Children's Hospital. (One of my favorite things about Ashley is that when she wakes up, or is woken up, at what ever time and no matter how tired, she is normally Happy. That is just to show you how carefree and happy this little girl is. ) I tried to explain what was going to happen and she said "I am so excited to go to daddy's work" I was glad that i was more scared than her.
It was dark outside and cold. Ash Brought Bear bear and her blanket to keep us company.
We checked in and Waited. The wait was fun It was just me and Ash talking, playing and she even did a little "jumping". Then they called us back. They weighed her and gave me a tiny yellow shirt and yellow pants to put on her. She was so cute because she has always been able to speak so clear and has a way with people. She could answer all of the questions. The nurses were thoroughly enjoying this little Patient. Matt met me there, since he had to be there at 3:30 AM to round on some pt., right before they gave her a sedative to help her fall asleep.
She was getting a little loopy and I asked her if she wanted to sing any songs. She requested Happy Family song. so I would start and she would fill me in on who we forgot. It just isn't long enough for all the names unless I combined them to work. and the she would join in on "we are a happy family" It was slow and she looked up at me. Then she fell asleep. And they took her to back to where she would get the surgery. I was so sad to see her wheeled out on a little hospital bed.
My thought were diverted to all the moms who had children here with different diseases and my heart broke for them. Matt took me down to the cafeteria to get a little something while we waited. After we were done, we went back to see how things were going. Her name was still on the screen informing us they were still working on her. After a little while longer the attendant said that they were done and that she was starting to wake up and we could go back to be with her.
I walked fast wanting to see my baby. There she was with her eyes all swollen and IVs in her arm. She was crying. I wanted so much to comfort her and help her know that she was going to be ok but I couldn't. She just kept crying. Her Voice was horse and I could smell the anesthesia on her breath. Me and Matt took turns holding her. I didn't want to give her up but she would say daddy and I had to release her to his arm. She wouldn't stop crying. We couldn't calm her. She even said" My eyes are hurting".
I Had a flood of emotions. I looked at her and saw my brand new little baby girl ,swollen eyes and everything. She looked like she did when she was first born. I remember what it felt like to have her in my arms for the first time. She continued to cry. I asked the nurse if everything went ok and she assured me that it did. We tried everything I walked her around and Dad held her and rocked her. We tried juice and even a Popsicle. They told us that they could give her a little something more for the pain and then put something in the IV. We held her more as she continued to cry. I started rocking her and rubbing my hand crossed her forehead and up through her hair line and hummed. And with my eyes closed I Prayed. I wanted her to be out of pain. I couldn't help but feel this was my fault. It was my genetics that gave her that wondering eye. I wished He would help her, Comfort Her. And as I continued to pray I heard the cries weaken and quiet. until it completely stopped and she fell asleep in my arms. I thank my Heavenly Father for answering my prayer so quickly and felt once again Humbled to be a mother.
A couple minuets later she woke up back to her normal self, happy, fun, carefree and THIRSTY.

I just took her in for her one week check and the Dr. said everything looked great! I was thankful for that. Sorry for the long story I just didn't want to forget.


ChristyLou said...

Your story made me cry! What a hard, and at the same time, beautiful experience. I'm so glad that Ashley is okay (and she looks so darling with her new haircut). Thanks for sharing and Merry Christmas!

Carrie said...

ok, Let me wipe the tears from my eyes so I can see what I'm typing.
Ashes is such a sweet little girl. I'm glad everyting went well. I cried when Ian had to be sedated to get his arm set. I can't imagine having to send any of them off for surgery.
LOVE her hair cut!!! I'm tempted to cut Ava's hair again, like that. We love you Ash!

Heather said...

Oh Julie what a hard experience! I agree, I don't know how Mom's do it that have kids with diseases and are doing this all the time. I'm glad it went well though.

Her haircut is ADORABLE!!!!!!!!

asdf said...

Wow. Lots of posts! Sad about Ashlie. I know how you feel...Easton had surgery last Christmas.

Bri or Aaron said...

Sorry that last comment was me. Just under a different google account.

Harris Family said...

Hi- you dont know me- thanks for letting me read your blog- I am looking for my friend heather nelson and her husband is destry-I am heathers old BYU-hawaii roommate so Ive been searching for her and I think it could be her but her blog is private. Would you mind emailing me back or contacting her with my email?! Im not sure if it is her but I cant imagine too many heather and destry nelsons out there. Do they live in Mesa, AZ still?!!! Thanks for your help and I hope you dont think Im creepy.

My email is: and my name is April Smith (Harris now)

Im moving to phoenix and want to make contact.
Thanks again!

carrie said...

Julie, so sad! Ashley sounds so brave! Lizzie just had her tonsils and adenoids removed in October, so I can totally relate to everything in your story! Seeing Lizzie wake up was the worse, she was crying so bad and just wanted the IV out of her arm! Seeing her like that was NOT fun, and I'm sure it was even less fun for her. I'm so glad everything went well with Ashley's surgery!

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